A Forgotten Post

I was just looking through my posts and I realized that I did not post anything on the Star Awards. It’s 4 months since then and it didn’t occur to me that this was missing. My apologies for this.

sa 1 (4)sa 1 (2)sa 1 (3)In a way, I was already looking forward to my long holiday once my drama wrapped up. What held me back from flying immediately was that I had to be present for the Star Awards. The only thing on my mind then was “Let this end soon so I can start my break proper!”

Looking back, I think the preparations were most exciting for me. Simply because, for the first time ever, Valentino and Alexander McQueen were dressing me. This is the first time that these two labels have come in to dress any local celeb for the event. Super honoured! I have to thank my super stylist Johnny Khoo. I know that when he’s around, I will always be in good hands!

sa 1 (7)sa 1 (5)Somehow, I do love this photo. Candid shots are the best ones sometimes.

Zoe Tay. I love this big sister for many reasons. For her generous nature, for her encouragement, for her love. She showed me what grace was, she showed me what having a big heart really meant.

sa 1 (6)Another big sister, Kit Chan. She literally saw me grow into who I am right now. She worked with me when I just entered the industry and has been such a positive influence since. On the night where I took home the “elusive” award, she was one of the first few to text me even though she was all the way in Taiwan.

sa 2 (1)sa 2 (2)sa 2 (5)sa 2 (9)sa 2 (8)sa 2 (7)sa 2 (6)The Best Actress Award. How did I feel? Nervous while waiting for the name to be called? Definitely. When the award was in my hand? In all honesty, I was more overwhelmed by the love and support I received from the veterans and production team. In fact, I think they were happier than I was. And that… made me truly happy.

Pornsak told me he was at the media corner, outside the theatre, when the award was given out. When my name was announced, everyone outside cheered. It was a WOW moment for me, for this to even happen. This happiness, this memory, is stored in my heart, to remind me of the good things in my life.

There were many things that I went through over the years, and they made me grow up. The affiliation, or lack of it. The privileges, or lack of it. The fight and support, or lack of it. The candid and straightforward answers, or lack of it. The pros and the cons. So this or that award, or lack of it, does not make me who I am. The thing I truly take home with me, is that we determine our own worth, and that’s damn important.

sa 2 (4)

The night for the sisters

I think it’s important for anyone to be able to put aside any ego and work together. Julie was able to take comments and any help offered in a very positive light to better herself. I’m so happy and proud of her.

sa 1 (1)sa 2 (3)My fabulous team! Thank you for everything.

Stylist – Johnny Khoo. Makeup – Cindy Goh. Hair – Dexter.

sa 2 (10)sa 2 (11)Lastly, and most importantly, my fans!!! I love you, Jeanius-es! Thank you for always believing in me. Thank you to all my fans… wherever you are! Thank you for the awards that were specially created for me (since the Regional Awards were removed), from Malaysia, Indonesia and Cambodia. So much love! This is definitely the most precious gift I could ever receive.

sa 2 (12)This isn’t the first celebration we’ve had. We celebrate every single win, whatever it was, because it was something we achieved together. We also go through the not-so-celebratory moments together, and that to me is the defining moment of Jeanius, that you always stand by me.

sa 2 (13)It’s been quite a journey. Taking on a role that sapped so much of my physical and mental energy, battling depression, and much more that can’t be spoken of. That said, I always start the next day after each and every Star Awards on a brand new page. So I’m back to the starting point once more.

Thank you for the memories. Thank you for being with me. And.. sorry for this forgotten post.