Reaching Out

I am currently in the midst of filming for “The Dream Makers 2”, reprising my role as Zhao Fei-er. To me, she has always been a victim of circumstances, and her character was moulded by the environment and situation that she constantly found herself in. She is the antagonist in a way, because she isn’t the typical good girl character, but she definitely isn’t evil as what people like to conveniently label her for the lack of better understanding or vocabulary.

Part 2 sees her in a position of the misunderstood and the bullied. If I were to say she was always alone or perhaps even, lonely, in part 1, I can safely say she had absolutely no idea how lonely it can really get in her life in part 2. She spirals beyond just depression, but Major Depressive Disorder. I did lots of readings of psychological books, watched so many documentaries, and it opened up a world that I never knew could be so dark and sad. I had to open up my heart to allow all these emotions to enter so that I will be able to portray these emotions likewise.It can be very overwhelming.

Every year during my birthday, I wouldencourage my fans not to spend money on gifts for me, but instead use whatever they have set aside for the gift and put them all together and donate to charity. This year, they asked me which association or organization I wanted to donate to, and without hesitation, the Singapore Association for Mental Health came up. This is an area that I really want to reach out to and bring about more awareness to this mental state that people shun from.

Since then, I have contacted Singapore Association for Mental Health (SAMH). It is where I will be able to extract more critical information and build up a realistic character. There is yet another reason that I think I want to seek out a Doctor in this area, that there will be someone to watch over me and keep me sane. My emotions have been cranky of late. Need I say more?

This is the biggest challenge to date. I not only have to handle a role that has such strong psychological implications, but to also manage my own emotional and mental well being. I have always been very sensitive and aware of my own feelings and thoughts, and being willing to talk about it and seek help is definitely one step forward to protecting myself. I’ll be living in this character for 4 months so here’s to a healthy me, mentally, physically and psychologically.